Issues You May Encounter: Newborns and 1-year-olds

TODDLER STAGES
There’s nothing like a screaming one-year-old to make me feel loved. No really – because he’s screaming to be close to me, his one-and-only Mom. On the other hand, I can’t get much done these days. My little guy has been suffering from separation anxiety the last couple months. Certainly no strangers can hold him without a meltdown. Come to think of it, close friends and relatives are out too, even Grandma J. For some reason Grandma D is fine. Maybe because of blood relation to Mom or that she’s watched him weekly since he was small. Even Dad is questionable in the evening when he’s tired.

His anxiety is worst when he’s tired. Some evenings I can’t even set him down without eliciting sobs. And I certainly cannot put him to bed. In an effort to get him to fall asleep in his crib, I’ve taken to reading a fun book to him after I lay him down, then staying within his line of site until he falls asleep. Better have the laptop or a book handy in case it takes a while. If I walk away and the screaming begins, it won’t stop. If left to his screaming, it will quickly escalate in intensity, resulting in vomiting. The only option at that point is to try to get him to calm in Dad’s arms while I quickly brush my teeth and take out my contacts so I can lie in my bed with him for the night. Half the time he ends up in our bed anyway because he wakes up screaming in the night. I debated just starting him out there, but decided to maintain his ritual of falling asleep in his crib at least most nights.

After 2 months of this, thing are actually starting to get better just this week. There have been nights I snuck out of the room while he was still awake and he remained calm until falling asleep. He also decided Grandma J is a-ok once again. He still gets ridiculously excited when I get home from work, and if Dad’s holding him near me he reaches for me. Not so much annoying as completely adorable!

The 13 month mark brought other changes to scream about – scream for joy that is. Last weekend, our little guy got his first haircut. We took him to my friend the hairstylist who works at a very chic salon, and she gave him a trendy Mohawk! Very punk rock when styled, and actually looks good un-styled too. He looks like such a little man now.


As if the haircut were the doorway to toddlerhood, he cut his first tooth the very next day. It wasn’t there in the morning, and was that night – a sharp, white sliver like a crescent moon on his lower gums. Not enough to start eating steak, but it’s a start.

THIS TIME LAST YEAR – OVER THE FIRST MONTH HURDLE

At this time last year, I wasn’t yet convinced having a baby was a GOOD thing. But I had made it over the first month hurdle, began to adjust to less sleep and no longer felt like I was going to die! Some days I even started to think being a mom wasn’t so bad. Other days I still had to just tell myself that. Except for a couple of minor irritations, baby was healthy, and that was the important part.


The minor irritations consisted of cradle cap and a slight navel hernia. Of course, we brought him into the doctor at the drop of a hat we were such worried, inexperienced parents. The cradle cap was really nothing to worry about. It’s just a sort of acne on the baby’s face and head easily treated with baby oil. Hernias can be more serious, but his was not. His belly button had suddenly changed from an inny to very-much-outy. Hernias in any other spot are a medical emergency, but the doctor looked at his navel and said it would probably heal on its own within a year (which it did). Just looked funny.

Here's a picture that shows the hernia at 3 months, as I didn't snap one when he first got it:

Despite our paranoia, all the visits to the doctor resulted in little more than peace of mind. At the two and six week checkups baby was gaining weight well. He had started nursing excessively, to the point he ate too much and spit up regularly. So the doctor declared my breastfeeding “established” and approve the introduction of a pacifier. She also approved an occasional bottle. I started pumping once a day and letting hubby give a bottle or two so I could sleep for 4 hours in a row, or go to the gym for an hour.

At my own 6-week checkup, the doctor had released me back to working out. I was pleasantly shocked to have dropped 20 pounds by this visit. She poked me in the abs and said my muscles were healed enough to graduate from daily strolls with the baby to whatever I wanted. I still took it really slow at the gym. I only made it there twice a week anyway.

I wish I would have enjoyed my time at home more. Little did I know how badly I would want to be home with baby just two months later when I had to return to work. I should have ignored Kaiser’s orders not to take baby out of the house for 2 months and gone to all the Mommy and Me groups I could. I think it would have helped me in those early months to connect with other moms and have more fun with baby, so that’s my advice to new moms in the first two months.

From Newborn Days to Toddler Play Dates

Once of the nice things about babies entering toddlerhood is play dates with your friends’ kids. After 10 months, babies start to take an interest in playing with other children and it’s good for their social skills. It’s also an opportunity for mom to socialize. Just make sure you pick an activity that is appropriate for your children’s age group.

The day before Easter, my friend and I quickly discovered her almost-two-year-old and my just-one-year-old are too young for dying Easter Eggs. We knew it would be messy so spread an old sheet over my hardwood floor. We lined up cups of water and vinegar mixed with food coloring in red, blue, purple, green, and yellow. I brought out my carton of a dozen pre-boiled eggs and my friend set out her Tupperware of about the same quantity. The kids looked interested!

Within 30 seconds, my child had tipped a cup of red dye all over his white-socked foot and leg. So much for red eggs. The almost-two-year-old was faring better – at least he knew the cups were for dunking eggs. Problem was he was throwing several at a time forcefully into the cups. He relished removing the cracked shells and re-dying the naked hard-boiled egg. By now, my child is crying because I keep removing his hands as he dips them deep in the cups of dye. Then he spilled the blue dye on his other leg.


Between the egg-breaking and self-dying, by the end we only had about a dozen unbroken dyed eggs that my friend and I rescued, and one to two dyed children.
We cleaned up and moved the children to the more age-appropriate activity of bathing.

Even though our kids are too young for dying eggs, they are both old enough not to be breastfeeding anymore. My friend weaned her son a few months ago and I just finished weaning 2 days ago. We celebrated by splitting a bottle of wine while the kids wound down for the evening.

The weaning process ended up going well for me. I debated about keeping the early morning and late night feedings for a while to prolong the immunity benefits, but I stopped the evening for two reasons. One, I wanted to be sure he was drinking a large portion before bed in hopes he would sleep longer (so I wanted to SEE the amount in a bottle. Silly, I know). Second, I wanted the freedom to drink more than one cup of coffee or wine, to stop wearing those ever-so-sexy nursing bras, and not to be engorged if baby didn’t feel like eating one day. It wasn’t a total commitment because I still had the early morning feeding- convenient because I didn’t have to get up to make a bottle at 4:30 in the morning. But as soon as I was down to one feeding, it suddenly seemed like there was no more milk to be had. He was still acting hungry after nursing. I started offering a bottle in the morning, and just like that we were done.

Weaning is an emotional transition. As a mother, I seem to look for ways to feel guilty. Should I have breastfed longer? Would it have been better for my child? Is my child upset with me? There’s also a feeling of loss when your child doesn’t need you in that way anymore. Not to mention the transition causes hormonal shifts that bring on emotions for no particular reason. Overall though, I’m happy to be finished with breastfeeding. Now I can go to the gym at lunch instead of pump, and relinquish more feeding responsibilities to my husband.

REMEMBERING MY NEWBORN
It’s hard to believe it’s been over a year since I brought my little guy home from the hospital. I still remember holding the tiny, fragile bundle in my arms and feeling like I knew this little guy. Although we had never met, he didn’t feel like a stranger – he felt like a part of me. I was comfortable holding him in my arms like I’d been with no other baby.

Comfortable or not, I still hadn’t a clue how to properly care for him. All the classes and books in the world can’t really prepare you. I didn’t realize diaper rash cream should be used after every changing, nor did I realize every poopy needed changing even if it was “only a spot,” and my poor little guy developed a horrible rash in his first two weeks of life. It got so bad I would have to leave his diaper off for hours at a time – I had cloth diapers so I put one under him and one over him. We ended up getting it under control with doctor-recommended Aquaphor after every change and by using warm, wet baby wash cloths instead of wipes for 4 months.

Besides the proper treatment of newborn bums, the hardest parts were his sleep patterns and my phsycological response to sleep deprivation. The first week or so, I was still running on adrenaline. My husband was off work and eager to make me a tuna sandwich or scrambled eggs whenever I needed it. The baby would sleep for 3 or 4 hours at a time. Then in the second week, hubby went back to work and baby went through a few days of waking every hour and a half – around the clock. It started to get to me. I abandoned daytime napping myself; I felt better if I was up and around for the day. But once I went to bed, being roused by crying shortly after became difficult. I sat in my rocker holding him at twelve, two, and four o’clock in the morning, every bone in my body screaming for sleep. I would start to doze while nursing him then fight to be awake, feeling guilty and afraid that he could suffocate on the pillow supporting my arm because he was too weak to lift his head. I ignored the fleeting impulse that I wanted him to suffocate. I was glad someone had told me these feelings are normal; I knew I needn’t worry unless a felt a might actually hurt my child or myself – signs of postpartum depression that require medical help.

I wasn’t excited about being a mom yet at that time either – another thing I’m glad someone told me was normal in contrast to reports of mothers instantly falling in love with their babies. I focused on getting through each day and tried to enjoy my baby when I could. He was really cute! At several days old he had his first periods of wakefulness that didn’t involve crying. He would just stare for about 20 minutes before going back to sleep. My husband and I stared back in amazement. “He’s awake!” we said. Those moments were exciting.

Nights improved too, once I stopped trying to rock him in the nursery and set up camp in front of the TV for night nursing. I got streamed TV shows from Netflix so I would have something to look forward to watching and only watched it at night. I’m not normally a fan of television, but it saved my sanity back then. Who knew, Aquaphor and TV would be critical to surviving the first month.

FINALLY!

FINALLY! FIRST BIRTHDAY!
We made it. All of us. We made it through the first year! We survived the lack of sleep and innumerable added responsibilities. Baby survived first-time parents without succumbing to SIDS, neglect, serious illness, or injury. We threw a big party. He wasn’t thrilled about all the strangers, but, let’s face it, the party was for us. To prove it we got a keg of beer.

Although the party was really for us and he won’t remember it, he was the star! Despite his newly-acquired stranger anxiety, we attempted to pass him around. He was pretty grumpy until cake time. We should have started with cake! My mom made him a whole wheat and honey (just old enough for honey now!) so there would at least be some nutritional value and let him have at it. What a mess!

I have chosen the one year milestone to wean off breastfeeding. I was most anxious to stop pumping during my work day. A week before his birthday I cut out one of the two times I pumped at work and had my husband supplement the feedings at home with whole, organic, vitamin-D fortified cow’s milk after checking with our doctor. We’re giving it in a bottle as he hasn’t quite mastered the sippy cup. The week after his birthday I cut out the other one. Now I am free to enjoy my lunch breaks again at the gym, with friends, or whatever I want!

I went through some debate as to whether to continue the other 3 feedings for a while. Even past a year, the added immunities of breastfeeding are beneficial. We have been trying to get him to eat more solid food though, and once I started doing the “dinner” feeding after solids instead of before, it sort of merged with the nighttime feeding. So I started giving him milk in a sippy cup with dinner and we are down to two breastfeedings a day. After Saturday night at the neighbor’s house when I had to say no to a second glass of wine, I started thinking twice is too much.

Last night, I began topping off the nighttime feeding with a bottle of warm cow’s milk afterwards. With my production going down, I wanted to be sure he got enough before bed to encourage sleep. By the end of the week we should be down to just the early morning feeding. I’m not sure how long we will continue that one as for us that will be the hardest to give up. The fact is cutting out that feeding will mean I have to get out of bed and make a bottle sometime between 4 and 5:30 am. He usually wakes to nurse (already in bed with us because of nighttime crying) and goes right back to sleep at this point and I sure don’t want to get up! And any wine the night before is out of my system by morning. We’ll see – I will keep posting as we go. For now I am taking the weaning process one feeding at a time, a week at a time, without thinking too much about the ones still left.

MY LABOR STORY

If my baby just turned 1, you can guess what I was doing at this time last year! I delivered 5 days late, which was my plan to get some extra time off work. On my due date, a Friday, I went to the gym and took and aerobic/weight class, keeping the weights light of course. On Monday, I went to the gym again and to a meeting with a business contact for my writing. I had been bugging my husband to go to Babies R Us to spend our gift cards and complete our baby necessities collection. He promised we would go Tuesday. Then our couple-friends showed up with their kid, planning to stay the evening and overnight. My husband wanted to cancel the Babies R Us trip, but I insisted we had to go that day. They joked about me going into labor, but I was adamant about it not happening when people were staying at my house. I’d rather we were alone all week just in case, but the man is my husband’s best friend and I have trouble saying “no.”

We were late getting on the road to Babies R Us, which isn’t very close to us, and got stuck in rush-hour traffic. It took us 45 minutes to get there, only to discover I had forgotten the gift cards. I was very upset with myself, but did the shopping anyway. We had the store hold the cart, drove all the way home to get the cards, and back out to get the merchandise. It was a long, stressful afternoon.

That night I fixed us each healthy chicken salads, with special toppings for each person. I was quite distraught after the meal when I realized I had mixed up the salads and the wrong person got the wrong topping, but they didn’t say anything and ate it anyway! I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions all day, but then that had been going on for a couple of weeks. I finally made it to bed late and stressed.

About 1am I started having more regular contractions and as much as I hated to admit it I was in labor with guests in the next room. I dutifully followed the labor class instructions to continue trying to sleep. By 5am I was pretty sure they were coming every 10 minutes and toyed with getting up and around and trying to eat some breakfast. Not wanting to labor in front of friends combined with the coziness of bed kept me trying to sleep. By 7am I couldn’t sleep anymore, and got up to use the bathroom. When I sat up I felt water moisten my pajama pants, and when I went to toilet I lost the mucus plug. I didn’t see it, thank goodness for my blindness without contacts, but relied on hubby’s description. I promptly called Kaiser. When I described what I thought was the water breaking – wet with streaks of blood, the nurse said, no, your water didn’t break, it’s just the mucus plug. I told her I wasn’t sure about the contraction timing because I had been sleeping but I thought they were about 10 minutes apart for a few hours. Clock it for an hour, she said, and call back.

I never did this before, so I did what she said. The contractions immediately came 3 minutes apart from the moment I hung up with the nurse (aka after my water broke, because it did!), but I waited the hour anyway. I hid from our guests in my room, showering, attempting to eat cereal (I was really worried about them not letting me eat for days of hospital labor I’d read about), applying make-up seated at the floor length mirror because I couldn’t stand up. Even when I called back and she said come in, I wasn’t that rushed, letting my husband feed the cats and check in with the neighbors because all the classes said first babies come really slow.

By the time I got to the hospital, I was so disoriented from pain I could not walk or put on my own hospital gown. I immediately began inquiring about my planned epidural. When the nurses alluded to the possibility that I was too progressed and it might be too late, I freaked. I need it! I pleaded. One nurse was very reassuring. “We’ll work towards that,” she said. There was something profoundly calming in her soft brown eyes. She was the only one there who could get me to focus and breath through contractions. My husband asked about getting the bag and birthing ball out of the car. They laughed and told him not to worry; I was way past needing that. Oh my God.

But God bless Kaiser, they put a rush on things and got my epidural in the nick of time! Once applied, it slowed down the labor and allowed me to relax for a couple of hours. This was a good thing, because I was strep B positive and would have had to stay in the hospital longer after delivery if antibiotics were not given time to work. It was also I good thing because I don’t think I could have handled a natural delivery. I’m into nature – I use cloth diapers for goodness sake – but forget that! I read up on it, and the risks sounded extremely minimal given the benefit. The only negative side effect I had was one of my legs got a little too numb and I had to be careful of it falling off the bed.

Once it was time to push, I was able to just focus on what I needed to do without worrying about pain. They were going to break my water, but surprise surprise, no water left to break. Told you so! I tried very hard to push exactly when told because I wanted it to go well and not risk a c-section. 25 minutes later they handed me my little bundle. I think my husband was overwhelmed but I was still on auto-pilot, a place I think I stayed for the first three months.

Overall, the labor went really well and I was happy with my decision to get the epidural, and to keep everyone but hubby and hospital staff out of the room until baby had arrived. I could have done without the small tear that needed stitches, but it healed quickly, leaving me none of the labor horror stories that had me scared the last 9 months. The hospital stay was a blur of learning to breastfeed and care for my newborn, with a flurry of nurses and paperwork and checkups. We went home the next evening to a clean house thanks to my mom, who was there to welcome us but left us to a peaceful house by nightfall.

Sleeping arrangements at 11 months; Prego woes last year

We’re counting down the final month of babyhood, and I still have to keep reminding myself to listen to my baby and myself before the advice of books and friends or relatives. For the last 11 months, every time I go against my gut and try to do what I’m told I “should,” it bites me in the butt. Or my baby’s butt, as the case may be. Like last year, when I thought I “should” pump every day of my maternity leave even though I hated it, and ended up causing overproduction and a drop in my baby’s weight gain. Don’t get me wrong, listening to guidance can be crucially helpful, but it’s important to balance the influx of “advice” with your unique needs. Every baby and every parent is different. That’s why I’m trying not to stress about our current sleeping arrangements.

We have shared a room with our son since day 1. We have another bedroom that he will move into when the time is right. When is that time? I don’t know, but it’s not now. The room is on the opposite side of the house and we just aren’t comfortable with him being so far away at this point. Until recently, he always slept in his own bassinette or crib. Co-sleeping would have made my life easier in the beginning when he woke up a lot at night, but we were fearful of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome – one possible cause being suffocation). Plus, I used to fall asleep if I tried to nurse him lying down. He started sleeping through the night at 5 months and there was no longer an issue. Even if he did wake up, I would pop a binky in his mouth and he’d go back out! It was bliss. Was.

Now, not so much bliss. Not only does he wake up screaming almost every night, but he won’t be consoled without cuddles. I need to sleep. He’s growing out of the riskiest SIDS stage. So in our bed with us he goes for the rest of the night. I was always opposed to letting him cry-it-out in his crib. Before now I was never tested on this opposition. Now I think that’s the only way he would stay in his bed all night, but I still don’t have the heart for it. We started to try one night and within minutes he was screaming so hard he threw up. Everyone tells me just to get through it. If we decide to try letting him cry, he would have to move into his own room first, that’s for sure. For my family, neither one of those things are happening anytime soon. (I feel obligated to note, since I brought up cry-it-out, that letting a baby cry himself to sleep is never appropriate for very young babies – under 4 or 6 months. During this stage you’re just going to have to deal with nighttime waking.)


For now, what’s working for my family is a hybrid co-sleeping arrangement. The baby will fall asleep in his own crib if he can see Mama. So he stays up, being held by Dad while Mom gets ready, until Mom goes to bed. If I leave his sight after laying him down the screaming begins and if it does, it may not stop and we may have to co-sleep all night. Then when he wakes up crying in the middle of the night, which happens at random times, he comes to bed with us so we can all keep sleeping. Makes the early morning feeding easier too, since I can stay awake during feedings lying down now. Once in a while we hit a fluke and he doesn’t wake until morning. I’m fine with the arrangement, baby’s fine, and hubby’s fine. We recognize that we may be setting our selves up for problems later, but sometimes you just have to do what works and let things work themselves out.

A YEAR AGO TODAY

This time last year, I was finally on maternity leave. Being able to relax and sleep in alleviated much of the discomfort and fatigue I had been feeling for the last few months. I had already had my baby shower, which was fun though a bit stressful leading up to it as my family and friends are all hypersensitive manics and were trying to work together. I love them and am eternally grateful to all of them though! It was a great shower. I got so much great stuff, including all the money I needed for a set of cloth diapers. I had also already moved – yes, we had to move when I was 8 months pregnant. Our lease was up, and to our surprise the landlord wasn’t renewing because he was selling! Aggghhh! But it all worked out. I was watching TV in my new house and riding the light rail to the gym. It is possibly the most relaxing time in my life.

There was only one week I couldn’t relax. In my ninth month, the doctor became concerned about a lump that had developed under my arm. They had to do a biopsy, which they said had the risk of inducing labor, caused pain in my arm for a few days, and forced me not to move my arm around much and take it easy for several days. This was rather upsetting to me for several reasons. First, hello! What’s the lump? Do I have cancer? Am I going to orphan my new baby? Second, I already felt disabled by the pregnancy and being further in pain and inhibited from normal activity really got me down. I really freaked out when I couldn’t do my little workouts!

By the end of the week all was well, except for the ever-enlarging lump in my stomach.

(really, is it possible to BE that big?)

The lump under my arm turned out to be breast tissue that was enlarged due to the pregnancy. Everything was fine and I was back in the gym. I even worked out on my due date! The baby was 5 days late, and I was lifting light weights in the gym every other day until 2 days before he was born. I would have been in the gym that 5th day had I not been in the hospital delivering. But that’s a story for the next blog.

Cloth Diapers and Prenatal Classes

THE LAST 10 MONTHS

My son turns 10 months this week! It's also our 10th month of adventures in cloth diapering. We don’t use cloth diapers 100% of the time, but I hope the times we do help offset my little one’s precious baby carbon footprint. Before he was born I purchased 6 “Bummi” wraps (must-haves) and 2 sizes of unbleached, pre-folded, cloth diapers from www.clothdiaper.com. The website was recommended to me by a Babies R Us employee in response to my shock that the only cloth diapers carried in the store were really only suitable as burp rags. The diapers from this site are comparably priced and of fantastic quality – drastically better than you can find in stores.

At 10 months, he’s finally big enough for the next size cloth diapers I’ve had packed away all his life. I pulled them out of storage a couple of weeks ago to put them through a few wash cycles, an important step to fluff them up prior to use. The way to wash cloth diapers, new or soiled, is in hot water with “clean and clear” detergent, white vinegar in the rinse cycle, with a second rinse. If possible, it’s best to line dry once you’re using them because the sun acts as a disinfectant. It also acts as a bleach – I was amazed to find the stool stains I’d been machine drying for 2 months disappeared the first time I line-dried. The small diapers that hung on the line all summer are visibly whiter than the new ones.

We started with disposable diapers his first week of life, as the doctor felt disposables would protect the circumcision better. After that, we switched to cloth during the day and disposables at night (so that if by chance he was only wet, I didn’t have to add disruption to a time I wanted him to sleep). The cloth diapers were a breeze the first 4 months – in fact, I found them easier than disposables. As a breastfed baby, he had a lot of little stools all day that were as liquid as any diaper-filler. The liquidity eliminated the need for toilet pre-rinsing, the most unpleasant part of cloth diapering. The only advantage of cloth diapers over disposables is their absorbency, requiring less wet diaper changes, and the poop frequency at this young age eliminated this advantage. Poops have to be changed to matter what!

In those early days, the cloth diapers came in handy when his diaper rash got out of control. There were a few days he had to go without a diaper to allow air to dry the rash, so having the cloths to lay open underneath and over him saved us allot of mess. Now he wears the “Bummi” wrap over the diaper, keeping the wetness inside and keeping the diaper on without pins, but for the first couple months, he wore the diaper by itself because he was too small for the “Bummi.”

It wasn’t bad though – there are stretchy-plastic-ace-bandage-clip-style alternatives to pins and the diaper only soaked through occasionally. It was best to wrap him in a blanket if holding him for extended periods. Ah, the newborn days. How times have changed!

There was a short period the cloth diapers were a bit of a bear – I refer to this as the “pudding poop” stage. Luckily it only lasted a month or two, or I’m not sure we’d still be so eco-friendly. It started when he began solid foods. The stools became less frequent, but much, much, much larger with a consistency of, well, pudding. Eewww! This required the dreaded toilet pre-rinse before the washer could handle the mess. I hated this part, holding the diaper over the toilet at arms-reach between 2 fingers and swirling, just hoping the stools would break free without having to dip low enough to feel moisture on my fingertips.

Thank goodness that did not last! Very soon his stool became a harder mass that plops right off the diaper into the toilet, leaving nothing behind that the washer can’t handle. It’s easy to save the planet again! He does require more frequent changing at this stage than he would in disposables because, as I mentioned, disposables are more absorbent so wet cloth diapers require more attention. So he is still in disposables all night, or for long car rides, but I’m committed to cloth during the day. Day in and day out, my motivation stems from my desire to live green. When we go out or to friends’ houses, I must admit I do it to impress. But perhaps the best reason to cloth diaper is they’re so cute on baby!


THIS TIME LAST YEAR

I was doing research on cloth diapers at this time last year. What else was I going to do all day at work? I sure couldn’t think about work with baby-planning on my mind. But it wasn’t just baby on the brain that was making work difficult. I was getting pretty uncomfortable and feeling more tired than I ever. I was ready to be home on leave, and was just counting the days while I got everything prepared at work and at home. One preparation I wish I’d given more attention to was signing up for classes at the hospital. Kaiser offers many free classes, some of which we took and some I wish we would have.

My husband and I took several classes together. We took Preparing for Childbirth, the only one that cost money. Although I was a little disappointed with our instructor, it was a worthwhile class. I loved the Newborn Care class. It was extremely informative with an awesome instructor who was into cloth diapers! She showed me how to make pre-folds easy to put on baby. We also took a hospital tour, which made me much more comfortable on delivery day.

I wish I would have signed up for the breastfeeding class and the baby safety/CPR class. We ended up having to move unexpectedly in my 8th month, so I was busy and thought I could take these two classes after the baby was born. How little did I know about being busy! Baby care leaves time for nothing, let me repeat, NOTHING else, during the first 2 months at least. We didn’t end up taking CPR until he was 4 months old. We never took the breastfeeding class and I think it would have saved me some heartache. I advise every pregnant woman to be completely prepared for baby’s arrival long before the due date.

The one bright spot of this month last year was a pregnancy photo shoot. My little sister is a professional photographer, so I got this wonderful gift at no cost! She does fine work and can be found at www.zoedesignandphoto.com.

TIS THE SEASON

TIS THE SEASON TO PLAY

The ninth month is all about toys for my baby, especially since he turned nine months in December. His first Christmas was stuffed to the brim with toys that sing, flash, or stack, and books, which he thinks are toys too. Mom’s favorite new toys are the functional ones – the foam puzzle mat and the plastic book.

We have hardwood floors, so we cheated a little and opened his first Christmas gift early in December. It was a foam A-B-C floor puzzle mat. Now he has a place to play with all the other toys without getting hurt. He likes sitting up, but still topples after a while. Even on a throw rug with mom sitting nearby, the second I turned my head was the one he would fall and “bump” – his head would hit the floor with a thud and he would start crying. With the puzzle mat the tumbles are harmless. Playtime is a lot more fun without tears!

The plastic book prevents pain as well. He has a bit of eczema behind his knees, and every time I change his diaper he grabs the back of his legs and digs in until blood flows. He got a cute Curious George plastic book for Christmas that we keep at the changing table for him to play with. Not only can he turn the plastic pages himself or chew on the without ruining them, it gives him something to do that takes both hands so none are free to scratch with. His legs are looking much better, not to mention his pants now that there’s no blood on them!

We went all out for baby’s first Christmas – got a live Douglas Fir, decked the house out, and invited all the family to our house. I thought we would be more excited about Christmas than him at this age, but he was actually really into opening all the presents. There were three rounds of gift-opening between all the families, and he got excited for each and every box and bow.

The books were the biggest hits with him – both Grandmas came through with these. My mom got him his first baby Bible and some others with cardboard pages. My husband’s mom got him another Curious George book, which we video-taped her reading to him so he can see her more often (on TV at least) since she lives out of town.

PREGNANCY HOLIDAY BLUES

Maybe it was because I knew we’d have to go all out this year, but last year during my pregnancy I just wasn’t into Christmas. Before baby, we didn’t usually get a live tree or host Christmas at our house, but last year I didn’t even bother with the fake tree. Gifts were almost entirely out, with the few purchased going only to the nieces and nephews. Adults were out. Could have been the weight of recession bearing down on everyone that lent to this mood, or maybe it was just the weight of my belly getting me down. I felt huge at this point, and on top of letting go of my pre-pregnancy weight without being sure of returning to it, I had to finally remove my naval ring without knowing whether it would go back in afterwards.

I had talked to the doctor about it early on. She OK’d me leaving the ring in as long as it had room to move, but made me promise to remove it once the skin was stretched taught. It would have to come out for delivery no matter what so as not to be in the way of monitoring or an emergency C-Section if needed. It was time for it to go. I put it away and hoped the hole would not close.

The good new is it didn’t! After the baby was born I was able to slip it right back in, and the hole didn’t stay all stretched out as it had become. It looks exactly like before. The weight didn’t stick around either – I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight by the time the baby was 4 months. Of course, some of that is back on now because I had to start eating more fat to enrich my milk when the baby started having trouble gaining weight, but that’s for another blog entry. I may not have the abs of my youth right now, but at least I’ve got the piercing!

Happy Thanksgiving

This Thanksgiving was the best I’ve ever had, all because of my little guy. There’s something infinitely special about roast turkey and gravy when it’s the first time in your life you’ve tried it! I fed my 8-month-old Thanksgiving Dinner with the rest of the family, and am changing the way I look at baby-feeding. I’ve chucked all the books and advice (for the most part), and taken a cue from Thanksgiving to start enjoying meals with baby.

On Thanksgiving, Grandma spared the added salt and we ground up turkey with gravy for baby, and fed along with mashed green beans, yams, and potatoes. We even cheated a little by offering a few bites of pumpkin pie filling. Hey, it’s a holiday! He absolutely loved all of it.

With so many foods now part of his diet, and after the success of the Thanksgiving meal, I am starting to feed him more of what we are eating. When I make him his own food, I tend to end up feeding him separately and he always wants a few more bites of what we have when we’re eating. It only makes sense to start combining meal preparations. Plus, when I can get my husband to eat at a normal meal time, it feels so nice for us all to sit around the table for a family meal.

Also, I’ve decided to return to following his cues for what and when to feed more than the books and doctors. I fed on demand when he was breastfeeding exclusively, but since adding solids it has become more confusing as I try to follow feeding guidelines. Other than remembering foods to avoid, I’m chucking all the rules. The biggest reason being that so many are conflicting – The What to Expect book, his doctor, and the nutritionalist all say we should always give him solid food before milk now that he’s 8 months, whereas the lactation consultant and the Le Leche League website all say always give milk first. I’ve been really stressed about it. But no more!

I know my baby best and he and I both know what he needs. I know he needs milk and that he won’t drink much if I always feed solids first. I also know that breakfast has to be really late after the morning milk feeding to get him to drink more milk. So, I’m giving him breakfast of solids earlier and with a little milk after, but we’re sticking to milk first for both other solid meals. And perhaps the hardest thing for me to realize – we don’t have to do it the same every day! Saturday we were going out to breakfast and I wanted him to eat with us, but he was hungry before we left. So I deviated from my new plan to feed solids first at breakfast, and breastfed him to hold him over till we got there. Amazingly enough, the world did not come to a screeching halt. If there’s one thing being a mother has taught me it’s to be flexible.

A YEAR AGO TODAY
Last thanksgiving I was 5 months pregnant. We traveled down the coast and celebrated with my sisters and my mother, then with my aunt, my cousin, and my father. At the start of the month, I told my dad on the phone I wasn’t showing that much. Then, the week before the holiday, my belly suddenly ballooned. I thought I was really looking pregnant, though looking back at the picture perhaps I could have just passed for chubby. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t getting stranger comments yet.

As a perpetual dieter prior to conception, I was very excited to be pregnant for the holidays because I had permission to eat more! Maybe that’s why my belly kept ballooning into December. The first week of December I was in considerable pain from the new weight. It felt like cramps and I thought something was wrong. I went to the doctor and she said it was just muscle and ligament pain from my new, forward-heavy body balance. She recommended a maternity girdle.

I had never heard of such a thing, but the girls at Motherhood knew exactly what I was talking about. It was like an elastic belt to be worn under my clothes. It fit on the under side of my belly protrusion and wrapped around my lower back. What a relief! It supported my stomach, alleviating the cramps. As a bonus, it took some strain off my lower back too. I would wear it all day at work and during workouts, then take it off for relaxing (relaxing? Am I spelling that right? It’s hard to remember now what that means!) in the evening and sleeping.

The maternity girdle goes on the list right after sparkling mineral water for pregnancy must-haves that weren’t in the book.